Dear friends, I bid you the warmest of welcomes. I have just returned from a glorious holiday in the far east. The cherry blossoms were such a lovely sight to behold I had them sent to my estate… all of them. So much has happened since we last commiserated on the sounds of Lord Timberlake, there simply could not be more for me to do, but for the sake of proper hospitality we can just let my servants build the southwest wing. To many of my manner’s new guests, allow me to introduce myself. I am Marlowe Edmund Blackwell VI, the idol of this emporium of music-based dialogue and your most gracious of hosts.
I decided to let my harp players have some time off. One of them was so caught up in his pondering, which I mentioned last time, he almost starved to death. The other one took up the theremin. So what will I bless my ears with whilst I craft my memoirs? Well I have heard that Fall Out Boy has returned with a new body of work. Quite a history I have with these troubadours. Yes, it takes me back….
Many years ago I was farther south than you could imagine; in the midst of my fourth month living with the Ümbütoo tribe. As we danced to the beat of 47 drums the sacred ceremony was complete and they had taken me in as one of their own. During the feast I met a young boy, he told me of the glories of a band of gentlemen from Wilmette. His review touched me and I decided to adopt him and make him part of a musical, journalistic project I was working on, now Mind Equals Blown. He was also the tribe gardener and the grounds are in constant need of good help. Of course, upon returning I gave him a more civilized name: Jason Gardner.
So what of the recent symphonic workings of this lot? Well, once again I’ve found this best left to those who manage the upkeep of my estate. Their stingy use of words to judge music has become quite a hit. One of my many, many consorts tell me the laymen have taken to calling them “six word reviews.” Do enjoy.
Joe Ballard: “Couple missteps but otherwise excellent comeback.”
Nick Niedzielski: “Unpopular opinion alert: album kinda sucks.”