The Arctic Monkeys rolled into town last night and kicked all of the arse. They were supported by local Australian band Pond, a psychedelic rock band that were completely out of their depth in the Sydney Entertainment Centre’s cavernous interior. All I remember was that they kept talking in British accents and then laughing. I suspect the involvement of marijuana.
Anyway, the Arctic Monkeys came on and holy shit, they were awesome. Opening with “Do I Wanna Know?” they played a twenty-song set that featured ten tracks from their most recent release, A.M., and a choice selection of their extensive back catalogue. Yes, of course they played “I Bet You Look Good On the Dance Floor” (and I got the distinct impression that they’re sick and tired of playing it), but they also played “Brianstorm”, “Dancing Shoes”, “She’s Thunderstorms” and heaps of others. Interestingly, it seemed to be the newer songs that got the biggest rise out of the crowd, showing that the Arctic Monkeys have successfully transcended their funk-punk origins and reinvented themselves as a drug-infused tripped-out 1970s band displaced by a time warp whose albums serve better as soundtracks to intercourse than anything else.
On that topic, I attended the show with my good friend Emma and she, like every single other person in the audience, melted the second Alex Turner walked on stage. Make no mistake, he could give multiple orgasms to bits of furniture just by sitting on them (that joke’s for all you Blackadder fans out there). Hell, I’d turn for him. I mean, he’s not Matthew Lewis-good looking, but no one’s more handsome than the man who brought Neville Longbottom to life on the big screen. Anyway, that accent with that face and that hair is once spicy meat-a ball-a, and he caused small explosions whenever he gyrated his hips as every woman (and man!) in line with his groin spontaneously combusted.
Finishing the set proper with crowd pleasers “Fluorescent Adolescent” and “505”, they actually held off on the encore for a few good minutes before coming back on (which is something Parkway Drive could stand to learn a thing or two from) and giving us a three-song treat in the form of my personal favourite “Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?”, Emma’s personal favourite “I Wanna Be Yours”, and everyone else’s personal favourite and A.M. standout, “R U Mine?” (as an aside, damn Turner asks a lot of questions). Turner thanked everyone from “the boh-im ov mai art” in his thick Yorkshire accent and then I went home and dreamt about our wedding day.
Do I Wanna Know?
Snap Out of It
Don’t Sit Down ‘Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair
One For the Road
I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor
No. 1 Party Anthem
Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?
I Wanna Be Yours
R U Mine?