Okay, so if you’re reading this review, you’re one out of four people.
- You know me personally.
- You love reading bad reviews.
- You actually have some sort of hope that Limp Bizkit has redeemed themselves.
- You’re actually a fan of Limp Bizkit.
When I was younger, I was a fan of Limp Bizkit. Significant Other and Chocolate Starfish were albums I constantly listened to. Of course, many people won’t admit they were once fans of Bizkit, but I was. I hoped that in some way, they would have matured and gotten better with their brand new album Gold Cobra, but I’m afraid this is not the case. “Bring It Back” is probably the only good song on the whole album. The guitar-driven beat is car stereo-friendly and Fred Durst has a pretty good flow, though the lyrics are quite lame. I’m not even going to bother with an example because I want to give people at least a tiny bit of incentive.
“Gold Cobra” sounds like a song that would fit perfectly in the two albums I previously mentioned. The music is just like that era of Limp Bizkit and the lyrics again are indirect, hate-driven, and really don’t make much sense to me. I guess this makes a lot of sense, because this is the first time the full lineup has recorded together since Chocolate Starfish.
“Shark Attack” is by far the weakest song on here. It’s EXACTLY like the song “Break Stuff,” but with a Warriors (The Movie) themed intro and slight differences in the chorus. I can’t describe the laziness that is in evidence here. They clearly tried way too hard to go back to their glory days on this song. Same flow, same tempo, same guitars, and same drums- it’s literally “Break Stuff Pt. 2.”
“Get A Life” is clearly represented by its lyrics. “Often called by my alias polar bear/ Cold like the ice you be serving up my drinks with/ And all you freaky bitches reaching out to grab it/ Don’t hesitate cause you can have it/ Ima stab it/ Demolition.” Whoa, whoa, whoa…what the actual fuck did he just say? That he’s gonna stab his own wiener? Oh, he meant ex-congressman Wiener. I hope… “I’m a shark in my underground fish tank/ And I don’t give a shit what those motherfuckers think.”
The first single off the album, “Shotgun,” is horrible. Plain and simple.
This is the perfect album for the cultural rot that our society is subjected to on a daily basis, much like Miley Cyrus (yes I just placed Hannah Montana and Limp Bizkit in the same boat, hate me). If you watch TMZ and live to the bible of Jersey Shore, then this is your album and you will not be able to stop playing it. In all honesty, I think this could have stuck out in 2011 as a decent album for pre-teen angst, but they would have to completely re-write the lyrics and can the song “Shark Attack.” This album gets the award for “Original Stupidity.” And they say that there is already another album they are done mixing and is set to be released soon? I have no hope and I’m not holding my breath.
Just don’t play this record out loud in Australia…